I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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