Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
