not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
