My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
Randomize
