She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize