he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
