he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Randomize
