I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
