Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
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