was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
