fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
