Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
