I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
