I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She announced her abortion via fbk
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Is Oprah even human
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
