i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
