i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
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