a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
