he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
