Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
