my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
