Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
not ubering you a puppy
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
