So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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