I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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