butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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