Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
