Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
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