Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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