I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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