just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
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