Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Randomize
