so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
