Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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