I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
