Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize