Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
