i permit you to call me
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
