I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
