Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize
