Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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