i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
