I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
