he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
