i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
i think i have herpe
just one?
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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