So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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