..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
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