She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
