I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
