i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
He better not be in your backpack
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
