Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
