She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
What drink are we having for lunch?
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
