JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
