Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
