Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
