I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
