U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
