yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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