How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
