Having a random hookup so left but love u
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
