Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
