Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
