Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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