I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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