Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
