His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize