Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
