I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
