I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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