Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
Even my vagina gasped.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
tell me about the fingering
Randomize