apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
Randomize
