if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
