maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Randomize
