In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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