you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
