I'll bet she douches with gravy.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Randomize
