Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Randomize
