Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
