im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
She even gives head with a lisp.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
