i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize