hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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